Breastfeeding

HOLY HELL!!!!!!!!!!! I had no idea how exhausting and painful this process would be. Ryder immediately latched on in the hospital but the kid has kung fu nipple grip! The initial latch every time I feed him feels like someone is stabbing my nipples with daggers. The pain goes away once he starts eating but DAMN! I have been religiously using that stupid lanolin stuff but it doesn't do anything to take away the pain. I think it is more for cracking and bleeding nipples which I don't have a problem with. When does the pain go away?!?!?!? We actually introduced him to the bottle when he turned a week old and he took it like a champ which made me happy because I knew it was a feeding that my nipples would be able to rest. Pumping a bottle is painless and fast but leaves me feeling guilty that I am not nursing him. The other thing about breastfeeding is that you don't ever know how much milk he is actually getting especially because he seems to fall asleep at the boob. If I give him a bottle he guzzles it down in minutes and I know exactly how much he is eating and he seems satisfied longer. Ugh! What's a momma to do? I refuse to give up on nursing but just hope this is my lsat week of pain and that my nipples will harden the f*ck up!

Welcome to the World Ryder Jacob Brown

I am happy to announce the birth of my baby boy Ryder Jacob Brown. He was born at 7:40 AM on June 24, 2010 via scheduled c-section. Everything went great! I would say the worst part of the c-section was getting the dang IV put into my arm. It hurt like hell! Going into the operating room was a bit scary and I was shaking like crazy but once I was on the table with Trevor sitting next to me I felt at ease. Ryder was fully lodged in the Frank Breech position so it took them a bit longer to get him out. But once he was out there was an immediate beautiful cry. They whisked him away to weigh him and do all the apgar tests. Trevor got to see him get his first bath and then they finally brought him over to me. He was beautiful! After they stitched and stapled me up I went to the recovery room for about 45 minutes and then on to my birthing suite where I stayed for 4 nights/5 days. The nurses and doctors were wonderful! At the end of the first day I was able to get up and walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Every day got better and we were so lucky to have so many visitors come to meet Ryder and keep us company. I know the healing process will be long but I must admit I am thankful to have my "hooha" still in tact and no hemorrhoids! Here's to a great new beginning with my beautiful baby boy.

What do you possibly do the day before you are scheduled to give birth?

It's simple...you think. Think about where you were 5 years ago. Think about how surreal this all seems that you are about to welcome a child into the world. You have had 40 weeks to plan and prepare(in my case 39) but yet the day before you still don't feel prepared. You look at your husband and say, "this is our last day together without a child." It brings tears to both of your eyes because your life is going to be forever changed in less than 24 hours. It's a weird feeling that everything is planned due to a schedule c-section. We don't get to experience the anticipation of going into labor. We won't be as exhausted as the couple in the birthing room next to us that just went through labor for 19 hours. We show up at the hospital at 5 AM tomorrow and the baby gets delivered around 7 AM. It sounds simple really and a bit rehearsed but that's the way it is when you have a breech baby. I am ready to meet my son. I never thought I would say this but I think I am going to miss being prego. I won't miss the aches, pains, first trimester blah-ness, the 35-36 LB weight gain, the chaffing on my inner thighs, the nasal congestion, the shortness of breath, etc. I will miss all the attention you get being prego. I can't believe how generous people are to prego women. Your discomfort immediatly subsides when someone tells you how beautiful you look or that you are all belly and haven't gained weight in any place but your belly (such a lie!). I will miss my weekly prenatal massages. But most of all I will miss the unbelievable and unexplainable feeling of a human being growing inside my body. It truly is a miracle and I am forever grateful to be able to experience this. And when I feel my little boy kick and push on my belly it makes stop in my tracks and just think about how amazing life really is. Here's to an amazing day tomorrow and to welcoming my son into the world.

We have a breech baby on our hands

My previous two appointments the docs have done a "feel" test on my lower abdomen to determine the position of the baby. I was told he was head down. Then I went in last Friday and noticed there was an ultrasound machine in the room. Didn't think it was for me because I was told I only got two ultrasounds: initial one at 8 weeks and the gender ultrasound at 20 weeks. Turns out they started doing ultrasounds around 36 to 37 weeks just to verify the position. I guess some women have gone in to deliver only to get an emergency c-section because the baby was in a bad position. So after my wonderful GBS test (vaginal AND anal swab, yup!) they did an ultrasound and determined that Baby Brown is in a Frank Breech position. He is head and legs up and butt down. The poor kid can pretty much suck on his toes. I should have known though because he gets the hiccups quite often and I could definitely feel them near my ribs. I have read a lot about how to get the baby to turn but considering I am 37 weeks, full-term, and don't want to stand on my head 3 times a day for 30 minutes there isn't much I can do at this point. The doc said it would be highly unlikely for him to turn around at this point but you never know. With that being said we went ahead and scheduled a c-section for June 24th. I am sort of grateful for not having an elaborate birthing plan because I think I would have been much more disappointed than I am today. I feel okay with it. A bit nervous obviously to get my guts cut open but thankful that I have a great doctor. I know the recovery isn't going to be fun but I guess the good news is that my vagina won't tear and I won't have to deal with hemmoroids. Very weird knowing the birth date of my son and even stranger is that only 3% of women have breech babies. Makes me wonder how I made it in the 3% and is it a sign that my child is going to be a hellian? He's already doing things his own way.

A completed nursery

We have worked long and hard on our baby nursery. From picking paint colors, to furniture, to bedding, etc. If I didn't have such an opinionated husband it would have been done sooner but he has to be a part of everything which I guess I shouldn't complain about. Originally we were going to borrow my brother and sister-in-law's baby furniture but then Trevor decided it would be a good investment to buy all new stuff if we are planning to have a few kids. And let's talk about the kids new pimp closet...I am sure we could have done it cheaper through Home Depot but The Container Store can customize it all for you so it turned out great and actually cost more than all the furniture. Ha!

Co-Ed Baby Party

My wonderful sister-in-law, sister-in-law's sister, and my mom hosted a wonderful Co-Ed Baby Party at our house last weekend. My only requests were no games, lots of cake, and lots of booze (not for me of course). We had such a blast and are so thankful we have so many wonderful friends in our lives. I feel like we are set for the baby with all the great things we received. It was fun having the guys there to man the BBQ and provide endless hours of drunk entertainment. I don't think we went to bed until midnight! Only 6 more weeks to go until we get to meet Baby Brown.

The "Express" Childbirth Class

Why they call it "express" is beyond me. The class was 6 hours long!!! This was actually the shortest class we were able to sign up for. The other ones were 10 hours or over the course of weeks. I don't care what anyone says because there is no such thing as a class teaching you how to be prepared for childbirth. I know the basics of what is going to happen but can't tell you how it is all going to go down. I don't have a birth plan written up. I just want the baby out of me in a timely manner. I must say that the class did make me feel a little less anxious about being in the hospital. I loathe hospitals for the most part. There is that distinct hospital smell that makes me want to faint every time I enter those doors which isn't often. There is a potential that I will faint at some point while in the delivery room or the recovery room. I hate blood and I hate needles although I have become a little more accustomed to needles with my platelet issue. Getting vials of blood drawn every 4 weeks for the last 34 weeks and only passing out once is pretty good. I still can't look at the needle in my arm and am scared most about the IV needle that will go into my hand when I get to the delivery room. Anyway, the class was good. Trevor and I chose to look away during the video part. I don't want to see a baby come out of my vagina let alone someone else's vagina. And I definitely don't want to see the delivery of the placenta. The lady sitting next to me said that in the video they placed the placenta next to the mom because she wanted to see it. Are you kidding me?!?! I am so thankful I didn't look.