Where do I begin?

So it has been a good 5 months since I last blogged. Where have I been? Completely consumed by motherhood and working full-time. I always thought that being a stay-at-home mom was the hardest job in the world but I have discovered that being a working mom is even harder. I do all the things that a stay-at-home mom does (cleaning, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, meal planning, etc.) and also have to report to a job away from home 40 hours per week. It's exhausting and at times makes me want to break down and cry. I no longer have the luxury of being caught up with Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, or any other favorite TV show. I find myself going to bed as soon as I put Ryder down and get to read my book for maybe 10 minutes before I succumb to the sleep monster. I hired a maid service and fired them in the same day because Trevor was uncomfortable with someone coming into our home when we aren't there. Well then who the hell is going to clean??? I thanked my mom the other night for just being the best mom in the world. She was a working mom with three kids and did everything (that I have just listed above) without complaining. She's Superwoman. I don't have those powers and am happy to admit that it is all just too much. Trevor grew up with a mom that stayed home. I grew up with a mom that worked. Wishing there were some kind of nice balance. But enough about me...my little man Ryder is 5 1/2 months old. I can't believe how quickly he is growing. He now eats rice cereal, 1st stage baby foods, and now a bottle of formula each day. I am still breastfeeding but my days are numbered. My supply has really gone down since returning to work and it is just getting more and more exhausting to schedule time to pump. My goal has always been 6 months and I am pretty sure I can still make that considering it is only two weeks away. I will be ready to put the pump on the shelf for a while. I am ready for baby #2 although I want to have my body back to myself for at least a little while before we start trying again.